Personality Part XII
This conludes my "Emotional stability" dimension. It's part XII of a series of posts on my personality profile, with more to come. I'm sure you simply can't wait, right?
Ease with Others - Introduction:
Most of us have at least one or two friends or family members we know we can trust; many of us have a whole crowd of people we think of as reliable. But some people just aren't sure; they don't know if it's foolish to trust even the person they feel closest too. After all, they've been let down before and what's to keep it from happening again, even from someone close at hand? Many of us walk out the door into the world believing that there is fun and goodness and even love to find out there; we embrace the opportunity to explore new places with new or familiar friends. But some people just aren't sure; the world is a dangerous place, and whatever fun or goodness or love there is out there is compromised by the danger of some people and the random acts of violence that no one is safe from. What about you? Do you leave your home every day with a buoyant expectation that you'll find pleasure and kindness out there, or do you anticipate the worst and guard against it with prudence and caution and a very observant eye? The following paragraphs describe ways in which you view the world and the people in it as you venture forth.
Ease with Others: Your Personalized Description
You're a worrier. Not a serious worrier, so much so that your life is confined by fear. You go places and mix with different kinds of people and try out new venues and follow your friends even when their destination would not have been your first choice, or even your second. You go. But you worry a bit. Then when you arrive and settle in the worry subsides, you breathe more easily and relax into the experience and enjoy it as much as anyone. It just takes you a little time to unwind.
It is most likely the case that you've always been like this. Each fall you wondered who would be in your class and whether they would like you and if you would get picked.... for whatever you wanted to get picked for. There may be a worrier in the generation above you: your mother or father or an aunt or grandfather. Regardless, there are plenty of life experiences that can reinforce this as well; friends betray us, or our family situation is an emotional mine-field, or some illness haunts a season of our lives. So we worry.
It's not that big of a problem for you. The most important thing is probably to know that it's true and to accept about yourself that you are something of a worrier. Once you can own this you can use it wisely and it won't inhibit you very much. You will anticipate an upcoming new experiences - a date with someone you haven't gone out with before, a gathering that includes strangers, a trip to somewhere you haven't been before - and the anticipation will nudge you toward nervousness. Accept it, work your way through it, let it make you careful if you need to be careful, and then on the other end let it go and enjoy the new circumstance.
It will also help if you own up to your friends what they probably already know is true. Some of them may worry, too, maybe more than you do. Others of them may be fearless. Whatever, as they get to know you and you get to trust them you might want to talk about your fear and let it be part of the relationship. This will be especially important with your partner. The person they learn to love will be the you you really are, worry included. So let them in on it; it's not that big a deal, especially if the two of you treat it as not that big a deal.
This is Part XII of a series. Part I is here and look for Part XIII soon.
Comments are welcome- especially from those who know me IRL.
Ease with Others - Introduction:
Most of us have at least one or two friends or family members we know we can trust; many of us have a whole crowd of people we think of as reliable. But some people just aren't sure; they don't know if it's foolish to trust even the person they feel closest too. After all, they've been let down before and what's to keep it from happening again, even from someone close at hand? Many of us walk out the door into the world believing that there is fun and goodness and even love to find out there; we embrace the opportunity to explore new places with new or familiar friends. But some people just aren't sure; the world is a dangerous place, and whatever fun or goodness or love there is out there is compromised by the danger of some people and the random acts of violence that no one is safe from. What about you? Do you leave your home every day with a buoyant expectation that you'll find pleasure and kindness out there, or do you anticipate the worst and guard against it with prudence and caution and a very observant eye? The following paragraphs describe ways in which you view the world and the people in it as you venture forth.
Ease with Others: Your Personalized Description
You're a worrier. Not a serious worrier, so much so that your life is confined by fear. You go places and mix with different kinds of people and try out new venues and follow your friends even when their destination would not have been your first choice, or even your second. You go. But you worry a bit. Then when you arrive and settle in the worry subsides, you breathe more easily and relax into the experience and enjoy it as much as anyone. It just takes you a little time to unwind.
It is most likely the case that you've always been like this. Each fall you wondered who would be in your class and whether they would like you and if you would get picked.... for whatever you wanted to get picked for. There may be a worrier in the generation above you: your mother or father or an aunt or grandfather. Regardless, there are plenty of life experiences that can reinforce this as well; friends betray us, or our family situation is an emotional mine-field, or some illness haunts a season of our lives. So we worry.
It's not that big of a problem for you. The most important thing is probably to know that it's true and to accept about yourself that you are something of a worrier. Once you can own this you can use it wisely and it won't inhibit you very much. You will anticipate an upcoming new experiences - a date with someone you haven't gone out with before, a gathering that includes strangers, a trip to somewhere you haven't been before - and the anticipation will nudge you toward nervousness. Accept it, work your way through it, let it make you careful if you need to be careful, and then on the other end let it go and enjoy the new circumstance.
It will also help if you own up to your friends what they probably already know is true. Some of them may worry, too, maybe more than you do. Others of them may be fearless. Whatever, as they get to know you and you get to trust them you might want to talk about your fear and let it be part of the relationship. This will be especially important with your partner. The person they learn to love will be the you you really are, worry included. So let them in on it; it's not that big a deal, especially if the two of you treat it as not that big a deal.
This is Part XII of a series. Part I is here and look for Part XIII soon.
Comments are welcome- especially from those who know me IRL.
posted by Larry at
8/06/2007 05:31:00 PM
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