Personality- Part III

Generosity - Introduction:

Generosity is both attitude and action. It is an attitude of genuine interest in the well-being of others, and a genuine desire to help them. And generosity is action: taking the time, gathering the resources, delivering the goods. When it comes to taking care of others and taking care of yourself, are you a generous person? The following paragraphs describe what it is like to be more or less generous in your relationships with people you are close to.

Generosity: Your Personalized Description
In the arithmetic of generosity you've found an equation that works pretty well for you. You know when taking care of others means lending a hand and when the best way to take care of them is to leave them alone and let them take care of themselves. You know when it's time to focus your kindness on them and when you need to turn your attention to yourself so that your own life stays sane and lively. You can be generous when generosity is called for but you are not indiscriminate with your generosity, doling it out when it isn't required. You give enough to help when help is needed, but you take enough time and keep enough of your resources to insure that your own life goes well. Such is the arithmetic of your generosity.

Since you know how to be generous, it is curious that you stop short of giving all you've got. It's as if you are afraid that you might deplete yourself, as if there's not enough in you, not enough of you to let your generosity run free. Or perhaps your caution has as much to do with your view of other people as with your fear of emptying yourself. Maybe you have a genuine concern that people will become dependant if you offer them too much, and that what they should do most of the time is dive down into their own treasure chest of time and energy and inner resources and pull up what they need to get through. Perhaps it's both: you don't want to run dry, and you want other people to find their solution in themselves and not from you. Whatever the case, it is curious that you have more to give than you give.

Your closest friends and your partner may alternate between genuine gratitude and confusion. Gratitude, because when you come through for them, you come through big time: you show up, you stay, you give what you've got, and they thrive. Confusion, because there are times when you don't show up, or show up only briefly or with little in your hands, and slide off to take care of yourself while they're still trying to climb out of whatever ditch they've fallen into. When you're there for them, you're really there, and they're grateful. But it's confusing when you don't show up; they wonder where you are and why you're not there when they need you.

Still, the arithmetic works for you. You give what you can, but not more than you can. For the rest, you want people to take care of themselves, use their own resources and not just yours. This equation keeps you close enough to know what intimacy is, but sane and lively in your own life as well.

This is part III of a series. Part I is here and Part IV is also posted.

Comments are welcome- especially from those who know me IRL