I was held captive as Condoleeza's love slave

That's right, I was held hostage in the Embassy for a couple hours today. Apparently Condoleeza Rice was in town. Sadly, this means that they locked everything down to a ridiculous degree.

Condi, baby: if you can't learn to travel a little lighter, I don't think we can take these vacations together any more. Srsly. Even though you're a good-looking older woman with a sophisticated way about you, I won't be trifled with.

Soldiers all over the IZ missed chow because Condi swept through, Here's a tip: if your dog an pony show causes more problems than your visit is worth, then stay away.

Just trying to get to the DFAC was a major pain in the arse, couldn't get to either of the places I normally go to, and ended up riding my bike all the way around the perimeter a couple times trying to find a place to go eat. I was pretty grumpy by that time. I have this weird compulsion to eat at least once a day. I could't even get into the PX to buy some nasty-ass Burger King. By 3:30 in the afternoon (having skipped breakfast) with nothing to eat, I was nearly ready to run a gauntlet of Peruvians and dare them to shoot me. Close to 4pm, I finally got a day-old sandwich. Whoo.

Of course, by the afternoon the gods damned dust was kicking up again, and riding my biccycle was like a combination of emphysema and trying to see through sand.

By the time I finally got into the Embassy, they had closed the DFACs and the Green Bean snack bar. Then they wouldn't let me out. Something about being restricted makes me pace like a caged animal. Even the smokin' hot Woman Marine exercising in the Palace atrium on the treadmill and skipping rope didn't really make up for it. I mean, that's almost as good as a trampoline, and it still didn't lighten my mood. That should tell you right there...